Not By My Choice!
by Dragon Queen Niji
Summary: Naruto's life, from the day he was born, he never got choose what he wanted to do. His parents are crazy (also technically dead), Kyuu is a lazy peach tree, his 'legal' guardians are either a pervert or is a mother hen. Worst yet, not only does he has to train a bunch of genin but also train to become the next Hokage! Will this nightmare ever end!
1. Chapter 1

**I know most ppl don't read these but I have some warning to say. One this was the first Naruto fanfiction of Naruto I wrote. After I reread I realized it didn't make any sense but that was the point. Because I'm rewriting it, I've decide to do Naruto 1st person pov and general 3rd person pov. Chapters that focus mainly on Naruto will 1st person but then there will be chapters on people's react to his antics. Also I'll be posting another Naruto fic alongside this one but that one has nothing to do with this one. Then later down the line another one.**

 **Warnings: Tree puns for curses**

 **Sakura torture (I don't hate her but this Naruto does. (Torture only after they're placed in teams)**

 **Minato and Kushina craziness (Naruto believes their a figment of his imagination but he doesn't care)**

 **Kyuubi and Kakashi being perverts (kyuu will be explained later)**

 **4th wall breaking**

 **Disclaimer: I wouldn't be here now would I?**

 **Minato:** **No you wouldn't!**

 **Kushina:** ** _Nope!_**

 **What the-**

 **Kushina:** ** _No cursing!_**

 ** _\- roots are_** **u doing here?!**

 **Kyuubi: Can't we just say hello?**

 _ **No!**_ **You shouldn't be here, where are my girls!?**

 **Kyuubi: Aren't they on your chest?**

 **Not those girls! My** ** _daughters (_** **henchwomen)**

 **inato:** **We tied them up and placed them in the back room! Right Naru-chan?!**

 **Naruto: You shouldn't bring me into this, ya' know!**

 **GET OUT ALL OF YOU!**

 ***running feet***

 **YOU! *point at reader* Just read already!**

* * *

Posted March 22, 2016

Last edit: March 21, 2016

Latest update: March 22, 2016

Chapter 1: Secretly an undercovered Idiot

I was painfully aware of all the eyes watching me from all around the small classroom. I might be over exaggerating it but I just can't stand, and the worst part about it is that I can't do a logdamned thing about it or else Jiji-san will restrict me even more. "You need to act more your age" he says, "this will be a good learning experience for you" he says! _What in log's name does that even mean?!_ Okey, so I'm a little grumpy today but anybody would too if they had to take the same test they took when they were **_four._**

" _The answer to 43 is_ ** _Dog, Snake, Bird_** _not_ ** _Boar, Snake, Bird._** "

 _'Thanks.'_

I quickly glanced at our ever watchful teacher, who had a soft smile as he scanned the room. Sometimes its good to know not everybody in this logforsaken village hates me. Ever since I was sent back to the academy, I've been reminded that I'm not welcomed by the civilian population. Iruka-sensei along with my nii-san have always protected me from most of the villagers hatred but I can see it as clear as day.

" _I wish I could show them just how much of 'monster' you really are!"_

 _'This isn't time nor the place for that.'_

I shook my head to get rid of my inner voices. _Just ignore them,_ I told myself. The test really isn't all that bad, but still doesn't change the fact that today is the bane of any twelve year olds existence, Graduation test day! Even though I did this when I was four (I'm jounin, since age seven) and raised through the ranks faster than anybody in history. (Nii-san at seven became chuunin and Itachi-san at fourteen) " _You're awesome like that Sochi! "_ If you're wondering who I am, than let me enlighten you.

I am jounin Namikaze Uzumaki Obito Naruto (yes my middle name is Obito, deal with it since I have to!) I'm twelve years old, became a ANBU Commander at eight with an IQ that could rival a Nara. _"What are we, chop wood? "_ I rolled my eyes, the three voices in my head are my father, _Namikaze_ _Minato_ , my mother, _Uzumaki Kushina,_ and my ever faithful prisoner (note the sarcasm ), **Kyuubi Kurama** or at least that's what they.

 **"72 is pure uncontrollable chakara in physical form. "**

I'm really glad that even I pass or fail, I'll be going back to my old brat free jounin or ANBU life. I started to fantasize about all the missions I'll be taking once _this_ mission is over. _Sigh, soon my love we will be together again, and with you, I will make such glorious explosive art!_

 **"I'm not going to comment on that. "**

 _"I blame your father's genes!"_

 _"_ _I resent that! Name one person in my family that thinks explosive is art!"_

 _ **"Your oldest son Deidara."**_

 _"_ _..."_

 **"He's your son too Kushina-chan"**

 _"Not when it comes to their 'art'! Log bless us if they ever meet in person."_

 _'...'_

 _"..."_

 _'I have an older_ _ **biological**_ _brother?'_

 _"..."_

 ** **"..."****

 _"... No..."_

An awkward silent surrounded my mindscape. _I want to meet him._

 _ **"No!"**_

I inwardly pouted. _Not fair._

 **"Life isn't fair kit."**

 **BANG** BANG!

I guess I was so deep in thought that I didn't realize that they were calling people up for the jutsu part of the test. _Damn I need the last question!_

 _"Which one is it?"_

 _'Number 100, which village was Konoha allied with during the first shinobi was?'_

 _"That's an easy one! Uzushiogakure no Seto! Home of the Uzumaki can!"_

I frown at that, _they didn't teach that to us. How the roots is anybody suppose to answer that if they haven't taught it?_ My wondered for second then it hit me. The civilian council probably cut that out of the education programs because they didn't want me to know I have (had?) a clan.

 **BANG!**

I glared down at the creamy pale skin that dare smack my desk. _Who the f-("Language! ") - bark did that!?_

Damn it, it was Sasuke.

"Hn, dobe they're going to call you soon."

 _Who the f-("Naruto! ") bark cares?!_

Uchiha barking Sasuke, this all that stupid brat's fault. If it wasn't the fact that he couldn't protect himself them I would in some far away mission, in a far away land that probably scar my psyche. But I'm stuck babysitting him on Jiji-san's order.

 _' And making my glorious art! '_

Oh! I'm sorry, you're probably confused on what the root I'm talking. (And why I use tree puns as curses)

 _"Flashback time!"_

 _"Yay!"_

 **"Why the bark am I stuck with blondaime, Habanero, pryo-blondie Jr again?"**

 _Shush! I'll explain_ _that_ _in a later chapter!_

 _ **Flashback no jutsu**_

 _I stood in front of the Uzumaki Memorial Shrine just in outer lands of the Uzumaki Compound grounds. Usually I was on missions but today was my day of so I had no reason to wear my uniform. I was wearing my black tee with my father's crest (a blue wind swirl) and burnt orange cargo pants._

 _("_ Why does what your wearing matter?" _'D_ etails. Where was I?')

 _After a few hours of just standing (actually I was talking to my voices ) a shadow passed over, I did nothing. I knew who it was._

 _"Naru-chan! I could've been an enemy nin!"_

 _I rolled my eyes at the man-child I call a brother._

 _"Kakashi nii-san, you don't have to tell me, beside I knew it was you."_

 _I could just_ feel _his pout._

 _"But-"_

 _"Tell what you want or I'll tell Iruka nii-chan where your prevy books are!_ "

 _The silverette gasped. "You wouldn't!"_

 _I raised and eyebrow._

 _{"Didn't you do it anyway?"_ 'Details.'}

 _"Hokage-sama wishes to speak to you."_

"Gah what does that old man want now! This our first break in over a year!"

"Kaka is still talking."

"Oops."

 _"-And now I lead team seven."_

 _"Hmm did you say something."_

 _Beat_

 _"I'm such good influence on you!"_

 _Nii-san's eye twinkled. I did the first thing that came to mind. I shunshin away. I flashed with golden lights in front of the Hokage._ Oops. _I seem to interrupt a meeting with the elders. Hmm._

 _"Gomen-nasei, Hokage-sama. I was told you requested to see me immediately."_

 _The elderly grandfather figure cleared his throat._

 _"Yes I did request... But I order Kakashi to find you over three hours ago."_

"... " "... " **"... "** '... '

 _"That Barking Pinecone! When I get my hands on him... " The elders gave each other wary glances. Nonetheless they let me finish my rant on how I will 'teach' my_ dear older brother _on being punctual. I won't bore you with the gory details. This is rated Teen not Mature, you want that go look somewhere or read the bucking the_ ** _disclaimer_** _at the beginning._

* * *

"Bucking?"

Better than bark. And if Hasbro can get away with it so can I.

"But this isn't about pony puns. Dragon-sama wants tree puns as curse seen we're in Leaf. "

I don't bucking care!

* * *

 _The elders shared a wary look as they watched their youngest soldier go from plotting the castration of his mentor/brother to significantly depressed about something out of his control._

 _"I promise I won't do it again author -sama!"_

 _The two advisers sweat drop at the Namikaze heir's inherited randomness. If they weren't used to his parents bouts of random moment they might have to had question the ANBU's commander's sanity._ _The Hokage shook his, having already made up his mind on the blond's future._

 _"Naruto." he called for the boy's attention. "This important."_

 _The nine year old stopped his charade and stood at attention for his leader._ _Hiruzen, seeing he finally has his questionably insane commander's attention,_ _he took out manila folder. The blonde picked up blinking reading the name._

 _"The Uchiha clan?"_

 _"You've heard of the massacre?" Koharu spoke with disdain. She scowled as the boy nodded. "Have you heard about the survivors?"_

 _That caught Naruto's attention, for split second he glanced to his right before nodding._

 _"Makoto Uchiha, current clan head, sustain no injury. Itachi Uchiha, age 14, former clan heir, sustain extreme injuries, six broken fingers, crushed right wrist, left arm broken in two places, " as he proceeded to information, he grew pale and sickly green before gulping and continued. "Snapped spine,_ _crushed pelvis, both legs broken in five places including the right kneecap, left foot broken with twisted ankle. Sasuke Uchiha, age 9, currently clan heir, sustain no physical injuries but psychological is still unknown. Twins Ichigo and Chihana Uchiha, age 4, the youngest of the clan head family, sustained no physical injuries, mentality unknown."_

 _Naruto looked to be troubled as his moved from his right to his left and nodded as if agreeing with someone. With the lowest, barely audible voice, he spoke again._

 _"I personally wrote the report on the aftermath."_

 _The elders gave him a grim look. They knew how close the young commander was to the Uchiha clan but the boy couldn't do anything to help_ _them. They nodded to another._

 _"How am I supposed to know what their thinking? I'm not psychic."_

 _They ignored him._

 _"Naruto-kun?"_

 _"Hmm?"_

 _"Pay attention."_

 _"Hai, Hokage-sama!"_

 _Hiruzen sighed as he handed the blond a mission scroll. He read it quickly, stopped, then reread it._

 _"_ ** _NononononoNononononono! "_**

 _"Yes."_

 _"Please don't do this to us -_ ** _to me!_** _"_

 _Koharu glared at commander, who of course, ignore her._

 _"Boy quit your babbling!" She watched as the mutter to himself, but his attention focused on her. "Now, you're not going to pull off the roster entirely, just while the academy is in session."_

 _They saw him internally fight with himself (if only they knew) before nodding to them to continue._

 _"It came to our understanding that you don't know how to interact with children your age-"_

 _"That's not true, Jiji!"_

 _"Jounin exams."_

 _"... "_

 _"Okey I get your point, carry on."_

 _"This mission isn't just to guard Sasuke but also learn to interact with these kids and_ _befriend_ _them."_

 _Silence surrounded the boy._

 _"This mission is going to be a pain the a-" flinch. "Roots. Just a pain in the roots."_

 _He tried to leave but..._

 _"No shadow clones!"_

 _"Oh come on!"_

* * *

I blinked as the memories left my mind. _Why did end in third person?_ I narrowed my eyes as I played on the swing set. _Author-sama got mad didn't she?_

 _"Yup!"_

 _Damn._

I felt Mizuki-teme come from behind me. But I ignored him in favor to listen in on some parents gossiping.

"Hey, isn't he the one that didn't pass?"

"Well good thing too! He would've killed his team."

"Looks like the demon didn't pass!"

"He shouldn't be allow any where near kids."

"The Fourth should have finished it."

 _"I'll finish you, barking peach tree!"_

 _'Tou-san... '_

 _"What!? She asked for it. They're talking about you, MY son, I would never kill you... You're my pride and joy!"_

 _'I know tou-san '_

 _"I wonder how'll they'd react when its revealed you're the fourth son."_

Shivers went down my spine. Fan girls, that's what it'll happen.

 **"Don't mean to ruin the moment but that traitor has been talking."**

 _Nani!?_

I turned to look at the teacher assistant, and lo and behold, his mouth was still moving.

"So the only thing you need to pass is to grab the scroll from the Hokage and head to the forest on the east side. Got it?"

"Hai sensei!"

He gave me an evil smile. _What an idiot._ As soon as he was out of sight, I made a clone and sent it on it way to warn the others. He's such a pinecone... I chuckled, as of three hours ago I'm once again _not_ undercover.

Now it my turn to smile evilly.

"Bitches are gonna pay."

* * *

 **...**

 **Sorry for the flashback from now on flashbacks are in third person-**

 **Naruto: Why?!**

 **BECAUSE I NEEDED TO GET ON WITH THE STORY! Beside the whole "You're a Jounin/ANBU this is overused by now everybody already knows that you're only pretend to be genin to 'protect Sasuke'. The difference between my story and everybody else's is your parents are sealed inside of you alongside the kyuubi (which is your father's fault)**

 **Minato: Hey!**

 **Aaaaaand his mother is alive and Itachi isn't a traitor. He also has two little sisters (twins)plus the 'person ' who did it was caught and executed. (subplot) YOU, on the other hand was raised and trained by your parents souls and Kurama. Due to you talking to them out loud, ppl think u crazy...**

 **Minato, Kushina, Kurama: ...**

 **Naruto: Aaaaaannnnddddd**

 **You're not going to pretend to be Genin-**

 **Naruto: Yeah!**

 **But personally train team 7 as an assistant jounin-sensei (all will be explained next chapter)**

 **Naruto: Yea- WHAT?!**

 **All will be explained _next chapter._**

 **Naruto: BUT-**

 _ **NEXT CHAPTER!**_

 **Naruto: Hai, Author-sama...**

 **EVERYONE: Ja-ne!**

 **~ Dragon Queen Niji**

 **p.s naruto is gay help me find him a boyfriend (kyuubi: he diffinitly needs a mate. Naruto: ANYone but Kakashi and Sasuke! Please anyone but them!)**

 **So vote now! You get to choose!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm back! Welcome to the second installment of Not By My Choice! i was surprised on how many people read,it got less follows and favorite than my other one but more viewers...*shrug* oh well. I Guess I thank my first two reviewers.**

 **(If you don't want to read this then go ahead to the story, I do this for all my chapters and stories)**

 **darkhuntressxir: i did put it in the warning. I'll ya little secret... this wasn't how i planned the story but while rewriting it this idea struck. This is meant to test my humor skills (skills i do not have)if you read my other stories, they're all semi serious. I'm not all that good at this but I really don't want to back to what I originally wrote... That was even worst than this! I hope can continue to read and review! (Sorry in advance)**

 **Aktaiy: I do tooooooo! But I'm already making one of those but I can always have snipits of it throughout the story. We both have to wait what the others choose. (Sorry in advance)**

 **I am apologizing for something that is done later. Sorry I didn't ask first!**

 **Where was I... Oh right!**

 **Warnings!: Some of these are permanent, while others are advance warning and are temporary.**

 **The Log (and tree puns as curses)**

 **Unchecked mistakes**

 **Student torture (mainly Sakura)**

 **Sadistic Family tree (U will soon understand)**

 **Family 4th wall breaking**

 **Kakashi and Jiraiya (they're perverts and Naru hates perverts so they now get their own warning**

 **Missed scenes**

 **Disclaimer: Ruby take it away!**

 **...**

 **Ruby...**

 **...**

 **WHO THE F-**

 **Kushina:** _Language young lady!_

 **Eep! Um... Where's Ruby? She's supposed to the disclaimer today.**

 **Kushina:** _In Russia._

 **WHAT?! DAMNIT! I don't own Naruto, enjoy the story, yadda yadda yadda, read, review and vote! MOMMY'S COMING!**

* * *

Chapter 2: Why have you cursed me so, Author-sama!?

I groan as lean on my brother, I should be able to stand on my own but that teme of a traitor had back up his waiting for him. He was supposed to be a chuunin but he just had to call up the spies he was going to let in. I should have had a team ready but it got personal when he call Iruka the traitor and told me that he hated me. Which I knew wasn't true but I so wanted to k- beat him up for that. Atleast Ibiki and his crew got new toys to play with.

 **"We used to have new toys to play with!"**

 _"Then the old man took that away from us!"_

"Their screams of terror always filled our hearts with pleasure... "

 _Those were the good old days._

I sigh contently at the fond memories. I was oblivious at the way everyone tried to inch away from me. _Soon we will have new toys to play with!_ I faintly heard Hokage-jiji clear his throat but I was too deep in thought on how to torture - err - train the new recruits from scratch. I can finally go back to being the infamous ANBU commander.

"Naruto-kun."

 **"You could release one of us in fox form and chase them through the Forest of Death!"**

"Naruto."

 _"Or we could exposed to our combined intent and see how long they last!"_

"Naruto!"

"How about a mandatory weekly run with Maito Guy! While filling out a questionnaire!"

"NARUTO!"

"What old man!? If you haven't notice Author-sama is letting us plan tor- training regimen! She had me go to the academy and do simple C-rank missions for over two years!" I glared at him. "So unless it's _extremely_ important of life or death then let me enjoy this!"

They shared a look, then Kakashi escorted Iruka out. I continue to glare at the village leader.

 **"I can smell fear... "**

 _I can too..._

"Well I'm waiting!"

He looked nervous about this. He made a few signs, the door and windows glowed. A silence seal?

"I know you must be excited about the mission being over... "

My heart stilled. Oh Author-sama please don't tell what I think you're going to write.

"But-"

No...

"Its come to my attention that even our ANBU, under your guidance, where the best we ever had."

"We know this! Get on with it!"

"And no other commander has been as successful as you."

 _"Just tell us what the hell you want, basterd!"_

I'm getting sick and tired of all this stalling old man! Wait I didn't say that out. Let me fix that.

"I'm getting sick and tired of all your stalling!"

"It has come to an anonymous decision that you are to retire as commander and be a simple Jounin... "

 _"WHAT!?"_

"WHAT!?"

"WHAT?!"

"And You'll become a sensei to a genin team - with an adult over eighteen supervision of course."

"WHY?!" I couldn't help it, I want cry! "I did everything you asked me to! I protected Sasuke and _befriended_ him! I even made other friends, like Shika, Choji, Kiba, I even tried to be friends with that creepy stalker Hyuga Heiress, whatever her name is!"

Author-sama why are you torturing me! Was it how you hated the ending? Or that I ended up The Stalker? Did you not like movies, manga, the continuation? Woman tell me now!

* * *

From far far away, a frying pan flew through the air, smashing the Hokage tower window. Slamming a blond pre-teen boy on the forehead, knocking his out instantly. The Frying Pan of Doom™ kept going, never even realizing the pile of unconscious super powered idiots as it continued it journey to look for a powerful wielder. One day it will find that pretty raven haired mother that its destined to be own by. But for now it'll continue to obviously pass through every universe that has super powered idiots as both the hero and main protagonist.

One day it will meet its rightful owner. One day. _Hopefully soon..._

* * *

I blinked as I rubbed my forehead. _Where in log's name did that frying pan come from?_ I could feel my father be just distorted as I was by my mom and Kurama felt nothing. _What the root?_

"Did someone get the number of the train that hit us?"

 _"Wrong era sweety."_

"Okey... Well, that happen. You may continue Hokage-sama."

I could feel everyone in the room sweat drop, why I don't know. Jiji cleared his throat.

"We don't exactly what you train the ANBU with but it is successful and we, the council and I, wish to see how the results will yield if you were to train genin." Hokage Jiji looked like he was beginning time regret this. _Oh no you don't! You want me to train a genin team, I'll train the logdamned best genin team!_ "But I can see now its best you-"

"I'll do it."

It seemed like the world stood still.

"W-what?"

"You heard me old man!" I snarled. "You want me be a Jounin sensei, then I'll be a jounin sensei! I'll be best logdamned jounin sensei! Dettebyo!"

Upon the release of my nearly forgotten tick, the fear from the ANBU Guard increased. I allowed myself to chuckle. I snatched the team file with the number 7 on it. I know its mine since its Karachi's, my father's and Sandaime's usual team. I was right when I read under jounin instructor was both Kakashi's and mines names.

 _Let's see who we have here... Uchiha Sasuke,_ of course, _Hanuro Sakura,_ I'll have fun breaking her, _and Ne Sai?_

 _Hmm..._ So I got the Uchiha clan heir, said clan heir's fangirl, and a former root member. I can live with this.

 **"Hey do you know what this means?"**

 _"We have fresh meat straight out of the slaughter house!"_

"And that means... "

"WE HAVE NEW TOYS TO PLAY WITH!"

 ** _"YEAH!"_**

* * *

After somewhat calming down my Hokage and his ANBU guards that I will _not_ destroy (or take over) the world. Where they get these ideas I'll never know. Since I got lazy after that disaster, I made a clone with my father spirit in it (a little trick I learn not long after I learned the shadow clone) and him carry me like a father should.

 _"He really doesn't mind, we physically hold you for like, an hour, maybe less... Then we kidnapped you for two and half years."_

It was sweet until you mentioned the kidnap part.

 _"Meh"_

I flinched as my dad moved me to opened the door. Just as he placed me on the couch, two figures came from the hallway. One in a wheelchair and the other pushing it.

"Ohayo Mikoto-san, Itachi-kun."

"Ohayo Mikoto-oba-san, Itachi-nii."

We called out at the same time. My godmother narrowed her eyes at us. _Oh log no!_ I completely forgot to tell Oba-san where I was going!

"Minato-san?" Tou-san froze. Yes, they know about tou-san and kaa-san, it's hard to lie to them and neither of them felt comfortable lying time their best friend and my godmother. This wasn't going to end well. "Naruto-kun, where have you been all night?"

"Ummm... "

"Well I'm waiting."

"We got a mission last night... "

BONK!

She hit him over the head with the spatula in her hands.

"Sasuke, don't just stand there! Get your brother the first aid kit! Your uncle and cousin need it for being bakas!"

The heir yelped and scramble to the bathroom where the first aid usually is. He came back as fast as he left with the little white box.

"Itachi, sweety, clean up your godbother. Naruto, release your mother, I wish to speak with her."

"Hai, Okaa-san!/ Oba-san!"

With a flick of wrist (that was painful) I made a clone that my mom controls. The two matriarchs left with a look that only a mother could give.

"Are you going to tell us what happened?"

I stared at Sasuke (as much as I complain about him, I don't hate him. He's like a brother to me, which isn't far off since he is my __godbrother__ _. )_ and gave him a deadpan look. He knows I'm not a really pre-genin, (he's seen my collection of hitai-ate ) and I'm actually a jounin.

In the end I shrugged and told them the whole story, (minus the part which team I'm teaching) it wasn't before long I was patched (Kyuu used up some energy earlier before when we were ambushed) and call for breakfast. Did I mention that I live with them? No? Well, I do.

* * *

A week passed since the first part of the genin exams and everyone that graduated were excited. I left the house with Sasuke this morning wearing a henge, hiding my jounin outfit. The raven questioned why I was coming with than being with the other jounin senseis. My only answer?

"I want to be there when Iruka calls my name."

Sure it was both amusing and frustrating when everyone would stop and stare at me. Especially when I showed off my henged hitai-ate (I wasn't going to them what it really looks like yet! ) and told (loudly I might add) them how I did 'extra credit' to 'pass'. Shika just called me a "troublesome blond" and promptly fell asleep, Kiba said he still take me on and win (does he have memory problems? He has never won against me and we fought like twice since I 'joined' the academy), Choji gave me a chip, even... Err... Hinata! That's her name! Oh, she fainted again.

I happily ignored the weirdo in favor for my friends. We mostly talked and joked while waiting for our former teacher to come in. Soon we quiet down and did our own thing, I got bored and played with my long spiky bangs that I inherit from my father. I tugged, pulled and twirled. I could feel someone staring and I knew it wasn't The Stalker, she was still knocked out. I didn't dare turn to look around.

I wish I had someone to talk to but Kyuu is hibernating, Kaa-san is with Mikoto-oba-san picking new dresses for the twins who will be starting a new term in the civilian school, and tou-san is pretending to be me at the jounin meeting. So I'm for once alone in my own thoughts.

It's depressing.

"Hey do does anybody hear that."

I strain my ears to hear.

"It sounds like... "

Screams, stomping, and...

"Fangirls!"

Sasuke looked ready to jump ship. Weirdo woke up (damn) and tried to latch onto me in the chaos but I substituted with Kiba at the last second.

1...

I held down Sasuke with invisible rope (don't ask) and tied him his chair.

2...

I dove under my desk.

3...

I prayed to log.

"Ha! Beat that Ino pig, I got here first. I get to sit next Sasuke-kun!"

"Yeah right, billboard brow! I was here first!"

"No, I did!"

"No! Me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

Hey, I just realized... My mom's not here. I can curse for real!

"Shut the f-"

* * *

(~ intermission ~)

We like to apologize for interrupting this regularly scheduled program for this very important announcement. We have here in the studio two very great members. Our first two reviewers! Say hi to the readers!

Reviewers:... Hi...

Reviewer 1: How did we get here?

By the power of Log-sama!

Reviewer 2: Why are we here?

Intermission!

Reviewer 2: Are we even allowed to do that?

... I have no idea but I'm doing anyway!

Reviewer 1! What do you think about chapter one?

R1: A lot of 4th wall breaking by Naruto and everyone inside of him.

Oooookaaaayyyyy

Reviewer 2! Who would you like to see paired with Naruto?

R2: Oh oh! Shikamaru! Shikamaru! Please!

Thank you, reviewer 2. Vote now in review section (or pm me) to vote who you want Naruto to be with. I'll personally goes with this pairing but it's YOUR choice! Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

(~ intermission over ~)

* * *

I flinched as the school medic nin (aka a nurse but she doesn't like to be called that) reset my nose. If you are wondering what happened then allow me to explain. After _I kindly_ told them to shut, they yelled me for a good five minutes until Iruka came in and settled everyone (mostly fangirls) and started roll call. By the time he was finish all the girls were calm, he gave us that log awful speech they give year for the graduates, then proceed to tell us our assigned teams. I got bored during the speech so I read a book tou-san gave me to read about element jutsu and to apply it to weapons, when he finally called out team 7, Sakura shouted about "true love" and I called a Pink Howler Monkey.

She punched me in the face. Broke my nose too.

 _Log I hate her!_

That is why I am in the nurse's - er - mid nin's office.

"You shouldn't have insulted her, now we're both here."

I turn to stare at my companion who had split lip. I will not mention how he got it. It is now dubbed "the act that should not be mentioned" or if this was another(already established) fic "we don't talk about college"... Author-sama says if you get this reference correctly you get an Honorable mention!

"You taste like oranges and raspberries with a hint of lemon."

"We will _not_ talk about this... _Ever."_

"It may have been-"

"No, Shika. This does _not_ leave the _academy! Ever."_

"You're surprisingly good k-"

" _Never!_ "

"- iss-"

" _Like not EVER!"_

"Kisser!"

"Arghhhhhhhhg"

He's mocking me, I just know it. I lost my first kiss to the Log of all that is Lazy, Nara Shikamaru! I'm silently crying. Maybe I shouldn't have told Author-sama that I didn't want to lose my first today _to_ Sasuke. I should have been more clear, I should have said I didn't want to unwillingly at all.

 _"Hey, sweety! Did I miss anything... Baby, why are you crying?!"_

 _No reason._

"You should tell us."

Quickly locked (and sealed) my memories of this morning away before they have time to look through them.

" _Hey/_ Naruto!"

I ran off back to the class room, trying to bring down the blush. There was no way I was going to let them see _that._

Once back, I noticed a lot of the teams were gone. _Their senseis probably picked them up already._ I scarcely registered the blood stains splattered across half the room.

Sakura came up to looking falsely ashamed. If I was an idiot and actually _liked_ her, I've would've called for it.

"I'm sorry Naruto!"

"That's great."

She looked pissed but hide it well.

"That's great! That's what you say to to someone who just apologized to you. THAT'S GREAT!"

"Yes."

She tried to hit me again but I dodged in time. I then sat next to Sasuke who had Sai on his right.

Haha, Sakura can't sit next Sasuke now~

And thus we waited.

For two hours.

Alone.

With Sakura.

Did I mentioned we waited for two hours, alone, with Sakura? No? Well, we did. It was horrible. I'm going to kill Kakashi, then Sakura. No I should kill her first. Then steal that book of his, destroy it, have him watch me destroy the book, _then_ kill him. Or I could just prank him now and devise a plot against him later.

 _"Naruto? What are you doing?"_

I'm currently placing a chalkboard eraser between the door and the frame. _What does it look like I'm doing?_

"Is that itching powder?"

 _"And is it_ pink _?"_

Why yes it is... Nii-san deserves this.

 **Shuffle! Bonk!**

I smiled. I wonder what he's thinking since he's giving me the evil eye.

"I hate you all already."

I do too nii-san. I do too.

* * *

 **Well... That's chapter two. Do you see now why I apologized at the beginning, reviewers?**

 **Please review, favorite and follow... Until next time! Ja~ne**

 **~ Niji**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello fellow Naruto fans! Either welcome to the next installment to Not By My Choice! and if you just want to read than go read, no one is holding you back. I'm just making a few announcement! That is all, This for those who are following this and my other story, Ritou Taiyo.**

 **One: I'm sorry i haven't update that one yet but please note, i have already written out this story up until the chuunin exams and the one I'm posting is both a rewritten version and the edited typed one. The original i written out is similar to the finish product but isn't even close. i rewrite this as I type it down. Ritou was a plot Bunny I couldn't stop bouncing around in my head, so it will take awhile for the next chapter to come out. So just bare with me.**

 **Two: I do have other stories to write and update, so updates get harder as I go along but one of the rules I have is that I post the first three chapters of any story I post. So after this chapter I will shift all my focus onto the next two chapters of Ritou Taiyo. I also had another Naruto Fic that I wanted to post but didn't have the time to do it because of these two but after that I will come back to this, I promise! Believe it!**

 **Naruto:** Wait, that's my thing! You can't do that.

 **Do you have it copyrighted?**

 **Naruto:** No...

 **So I can in fact use it.**

 **Naruto:** *Grumbles*...

 **I'm sorry what was that?**

 **Naruto:** I said *Grumbles*

 **What? *Smirk***

 **Naruto:** *Glare*...*Smirk* I said You don't own me, so by default you don't own my catchphrase. And therefore can't use it.

 **... What are YOU looking AT?! Go read this chapter already G- LOG DAMMIT!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: I'm your jounin-sensei... Obey me!**

I wanted to slap myself, I really did. How in the Holy Log's name is _Sakura_ top kunoichi of this year's class?! Last year's was a weapons specialist, come on! The only reason I got such low scores was because I literally did less work than Shi- he who should currently not be named- on _purpose_ and I didn't even _need_ to _try,_ _this was just a_ _ _mission__ to me. But _she's_ supposed to be the _top_ Kunoichi of the _year._ How could she act (maybe she is) like a dumb bimbo in front of her jounin-sensei like that.

Kakashi's single eye twitch.

Let me recap.

You've probably read this scene a hundred times, seen it just as much, and even wrote it a few times, each one unique or special but it's _still_ eye cringing every time she says it. In those err _timelines_ (let's go with that) She still says those same logdamned words. Every. Single. Time.

"Introduce ourselves? How do we do that, Sensei?"

Where's that pan when you need it?

Kakashi scratched his pink hair (OML I made twins) and acted like it was a very good question.

"Just tell us your likes, dislikes, hobbies, stuff like that."

He was met with silence. He scratched again.

"I guess I should start. My name is Hatake Kakashi, I have a little brother, a boyfriend, you're all too young to know my likes, don't have too many dislikes, also too young for my hobbies!" He eye smiled at us.

"All we learned was his name." Sakura whispered.

"What? He did say he has a brother and boyfriend! He told you he has people he cares about, BIG no no for a ninja."

 _"He also technically told you he was pervert."_

"That too... Oh sensei, when I get my hands on you..."

"So you're a pervert!" I chirped happily. The horror on Sakura's face made me wish I had a camera or those smart phones found in the cities. I think I'll paint it later. "What? Usually when an adult tells us we're too young to know something, its about sex. Or porn."

"Sex? Porn?"

We all turned to Sai, who sadly had a confused look. He made eye contact with me, not once even looking at Kakashi to ask. He was probably told who the real sensei was and knew it was me.

"What is porn and how does a person's genitals contribute to it?"

 _"Oh you poor thing! What has Danzo done to you?!"_

"Please tell me you atleast know were babies comes from."

Kakashi and I would have probably had similar looks if he wasn't wearing a mask. _This is inhumane!_

"Well... Have you learned reproduction yet?"

Negative. Damn this will be hard.

"My old master taught me enough to survive out on missions before allowing me to become a genin. He told me anything else could be taught be my jounin-sensei... Was that not how it works?"

Everyone slowly shook our heads.

"Oh... "

This is going to be _really_ hard. Damn you Danzo!

"Well, seeing as Naruto seems to know those subjects he will tell you after introduction are done!"

I glared at him. He scratched.

"I guess I go next. My name is... "

Uh... What should _I_ say.

I can't say Namikaze because nobody is supposed to know I'm one, not even me. And saying Uzumaki will mean I'm rejecting dad. What to do, what to do...

"I don't mind son."

 _"Do what you must, sweety."_

"Naruto. Just Naruto. I like Ramen, sweet cake, I have a love-hate relationship with Author-sama, my brother, godbrothers and sisters, and godmother, what else... Uzumaki Kushina and Namikaze Minato. I _strongly_ dislike perverts, unnecessary violence, _snakes,_ dango, waiting three minutes for ramen. My deadbeat godfather... I don't have any hobbies anymore since Jiji won't let me, he said I shouldn't play with bombs and explosives anymore since I could kill myself or become like my grandmother."

" _From the stories we heard, she really was insane..."_

"Maybe it skips a generation. "

 _"Jounin Exams."_

If you ignore my parents commentary, almost treating my life like a movie and them the directors or in this case the creators, there would have absolute silence. Apparently Sakura has enough self preservation, to step away from me. Sasuke eyed me, Kakashi looked like he was going to have a breakdown, and Sai looked like he wanted to say something.

"Ooookkkkaaaayyy" Kakashi stretched out, taking everyone else's attention off of me. "Duck butt you're next."

Sasuke twitched at the name but gave no other response. We stared.

"Fine... My name is Uchiha Sasuke, I like my family, tomato's, and movies. I dislike fan girls, people who judge without knowing the person, traitors, senseless killing, weaklings, whores, pretenders. My hobbies are training, reading, and spending as much time as I could with my family."

Kakashi nodded, still scratching but some of the pinkness was gone. _Thank log!_

"Clueless, you're next."

Sai blinked when Kakashi pointed his finger at him. That name really is fitting.

"Ok... My name is Sai. I had a brother but I don't know what happened to him since he went MIA (missing in action) three months ago. I like drawing, I guess. I dislike the fact there are information that happens to be common knowledge but I don't know it myself. I guess my hobbies are painting and... No that's it."

 _"We are sweat dropping in here!"_

 _Ditto mom._

"Pinky."

You basically know this but Author-sama is making me show you anyway.

"Ano... My name is Haruno Sakura. I like... My dislikes are Ino-pig and Naruto! My hobbies are... I happen to have a future and goal that I dream to make... "

If you're wondering, she would giggle, squeal, and glance at Sasuke when she couldn't finish her sentence. _Can't wait to break her out those habits._

"Well now that's settled, I have two announcement to make. This first is one of you will no longer be "genin" from this moment on... But be my jounin helper!"

More like do all the dirty work while you watch. Or read.

Sakura stared at Sasuke with stars in her eyes. Sasuke and Sai looked at me.

"I am happy to introduce your second jounin-sensei... Namikaze Uzumaki Obito NARUTO!"

BOOM!

Like being shot of a party canon, a giant banner and strings of confetti proofed from behind Kakashi. I would've been touched if it weren't for the fact that its the _same_ banner from when I _first_ became jounin.

 **Congrats Naru-chan, You're Jounin!** _ **Again!**_

 _"Atleast he tried. "_

" _He just put_ again _at the end._ "

"He _tried._ "

" _And failed._ "

... Ignoreing my family in favor of a blank color palette Sakura. I think he broke her before I could.

"WHAAAAAAT!"

The world shook, I swear. I also might've lost my sense of hearing. I think everybody else did too.

"!"

"?!"

* * *

Four males clutched their bleeding ears and tried to stay close to the ground.

"Come on! I need those!" the blond yelled.

"What did you say?!"

"What?!"

"I can't hear anything!"

"WHAT!?"

Everyone was yelling with one another. Suddenly the former ANBU members signaled each other.

'She's loud!'

'Can we get rid of her now?'

'No Naru.'

Naruto scowled but signaled it again.

'Now?'

'Naru, you can't get rid of your students... Yes, even if the others agree.'

'I hate this already.'

Slowly the boys hearing came back. They all waited til all the ringing stop.

* * *

My head buzzed, especially since my parents were running around my mindscape. My Log, she has a set of lungs.

"Can everyone hear alright?"

We all nodded at our jounin superior.

"How can Baka be a jounin and not Sasuke-kun!? Sasuke-kun should be the jounin assistant, he's way more capable than _him!_ "

Sasuke was the one who butted in.

"That's where your wrong,Haruno-san" he eyes asked me to reveal the truth. I nodded. "You see, Naruto graduated when he was 4 and was made jounin back he was 6 or 7 but because he doesn't interact with his age group, he sent to the academy to learn. He was told that he didn't need to actually do the work at school as his only job was to make some friends."

That wasn't a complete like but thing again I never did tell him the true purpose of me going to the academy. I simply nodded at the raven.

Sakura looked like she was going to rip her hair out.

"Hatake-sensei?" Sai called.

"Hmm"

"What is the second part of your announcement?"

"W- oh yes! Technically you're all not full genin yet!"

3... 2... 1...

"What!"

"God dammit Pinky!"

 _"Naruto!"_

* * *

 **Next day at 6 am**

I arrived early and waited for everyone to arrive to. Sai was the first after me, he how to me but didn't dare look me in the eye.

"Poor guy, I wouldn't either if I were in his shoes."

 _"So cute! He's even blushing!"_

 _Maybe having Iruka-nii to explain sexual attracting was a bad idea..._

"You _did_ take him to the library and to the hospital first before going to Iruka-kun."

 _"And Miko-chan explained fully the birds and bees."_

 _Yes but Danzo should've done this first! That Old coot, when I get my hands on him!_

I shook my head, clearing it of those thoughts. It seemed while I was talking with my parents, Sasuke and the Howler (until I make the respectable kunoichi she should be that will be her new name... In my head) came and say down in front of me.

I waited I few seconds.

"Whelp, it seems that you're all here we ( by we, I mean you ) will make a plan of action for this test Kaka-nii has in store for us (you really). "

I gave them the biggest fake smile I could muster before winking and shunshining away. I watched them from atop a tree close by as they spoke amongst themselves. I could if I wanted to, but I didn't, listen in on them.

 _"They look like they're arguing."_

"More like Sai and Sasuke are planning with Sakura agreeing to what ever Sasuke says but won't listen to Sai's ideas-"

 _And Sasuke repenting Sakura for not allowing Sai to place his input._

 _"Sakura doesn't even try to comment other than..."_

 _Of course Sasuke, with that plan, we won't fail!_

"Sai! Of course it'll work, its Sasuke's idea!"

 _"Your so amazing Sasuke, give me your babies!"_

 _Looking at me Sasuke, I'll do_ anything _for you!_

OK, so maybe she didn't say those last two (out loud) but her records (AKA from my memories of her being my classmate *shivers* suppressing those now) show that it is very plausible for the first two.

We all waited for a few more hours when finally Kakashi showed up. I literally popped next to them about half hour ago and made some small talked with them as we waited. I got bored watching them but even I got annoyed when he came later then he should have.

"Hello~ my cute little genin and helper!"

 **"You're late!"**

This time all tell at him with anger in our eyes. _Hey, I just remembered I never did my revenge for him making me late!_

He let us calm down before explaining the test and rules to us before starting. I wanted nothing more to smash his head and was thinking of ways to do when Sakura spoke up.

"Ano, sensei, what will Naruto-baka, I mean, Naruto-senpai be doing durning the duration of the test!"

Hmm... I should get rid of her first, then Kakashi!

"Naru-hime will be here, tied to this stump! That will be your second objective, I have taken this princess here as a hostage, not only do you have to retrieve my bells (they are substitute for your "mission's" important items) but save your "client", isn't this neat! You have three hours!"

He set up the timer while placing a diamond tiara on my head and thing me to the middle log post. I rolled my eyes but I needed to play the part so just to annoy him I henged into a female version of myself wearing an orange ball gown. He glared at me with his one eye. I merely grinned at him.

"Alright, you three! Come at me with the intent to kill... BEGIN!"

 _Yes, nii-san, let the games begin!_

* * *

 **I repeat! Vote Now who you want to see paired together. I wrote this story up to the chuunin exams but after that I simply got stuck, I didn't have any pairings in mind other than the already established ones (like the parents of the teams) and an implied KakaIru. Up until that point, making a pairing (let alone a MalexNaru) for this story never crossed my mind. Once the exams were over i was stuck on how to proceed with it.**

 **After the Chuunin (this isn't spoiler just actual canon but to fit with my plot) exams, Naruto loses the one _real_ adult in his life that he can view as a parent that wasn't trapped in a seal on his stomache or Fourteen years older who has no idea how to raise a child, so any case he goes into a dpression type phase. This is where I got stuck on, I don't know to pull him out of, since his seal will out of wack by Orochimaru so he can't come into contact with his parents or Kurama, and he (this is where my story diverges from canon in this arc) wouldn't willingly come within a hundred feet of Jiraiya. He will need someone to lean on and not only get him out of depression but reconcile with his godfather and by extension fix his seal. That is what I am planning at least but I need that _someone! I_ want a CLEAR WINNER by the time I get to the that arc in the story so please vote, but explain if that someone isn't from the most common place (AKA Konoha), so if he isn't Kiba, Shino, Lee, Niji, or SHIKAMARU *cough*please explain how and why for your pairing. You can ask for any pairing as well but I'm only looking those paired with Naru for a while as I like messing with him. **

**PM me or Rewiew... I do not have a poll for this but if you a guys that might help then i make one BUT only if you ask me to and place a vote while your at it.(Three Reviews seem reasonable for that!) Also, every few chapters i will make these Flashback/ Deleted/ Offstage/ Missing Content scenes to maybe fix some plot holes I may have.**

 **Votes**

 **Shikamaru-2**

 **Other-0**

 **Please note that Sasuke will not be a Candidate for Naruto. I am in fact a huge SasuNaru fan but form the very beginning, i didn't want that here as my third one would contain (albeit very later in that one) and they were raised to view eacthother as brothers, regardless of what you want he is NOT a CHOICE! Got it? Good.**

 **If you didn't read the top then I will say it again. I have other stories to write so the next chapter will take awhile as I well focus on them for now so I really don't know when I update next chapter. So while you wait, Review what you want to say about this, predictions of the next chapters, or ask me what side story you want to hear in the Omake scenes.**

 **Ja~Ne, Niji! (or is it Je-ne?)**

 **P.S. For that guy going around and telling other writer to go kill themselves, you are not welcome here! I may allow my readers to tell their opinions whether good or bad but i do NOT tolerate bullies like those and I will try my best to report it. The other might not do something about as I seen three times this year alone and that was before my birthday at the beginning of March! You can go Off yourself too!**

 **P.S.S or P.P.S I feel like I'm on some kind of internal schedule since this time last year, i posted the Third chapter of my THIRD story. This is my SIXTH! *SQUEEEEALLLLLLLL!***


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I have no excuse and I'm not sorry**

 **P. S. I'm only sorry about how short this chapter is.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

Naruto's eye twitched as the three genin hide where they were easily spotted. Sai took longer to find from the blond's vantage point. 'She' muttered under 'her' breath how they're all hiding where both jonin can see them but they can't see eachother. Kakashi periodically checked _'Princess Naru's'_ ropes. What the genin wouldn't notice, not even the Root spy, where the Kakashi clones and the possessed Naruto clones hiding near they're locations.

Unsurprisingly, Sasuke attacked first. Using his 100% accuracy aim with the kunai, he attacked the silver haired jonin who immediately dodge the incoming barrage. Sai used the distraction to get close the 'hostage' and release 'her' from 'her' binds. Sai tried to lead 'her' away but Kakashi took notice of them and threw Sasuke by the arm, hitting Sai dead on, knocking them down for the count. He grabbed Naru and shinshin 'ed away with the 'captive'.

"...Ow...That could've gone better."

"Maybe if Pugly did her job... *groan*"

Sasuke blinked. "Pugly?"

"Pink ugly."

"Good one."

"Thanks."

 **With the others**

Kakashi and Naru watch as a Kakashi clone stalked behind the Pink One... and watched as she ran after being caught of guard right into a genjutsu of Sasuke bleeding to death. Instead of calling for help, or even offering help like a _regular_ Shinobi teammate would, she let out an unholy, banshee like screech that caused some shaking. And promptly fainted.

"That... was pathetic." They clone muttered before dispelling.

Naru shook her head and sighed dejectedly.

"That was just awful, she's nothing but dead weight." She jumped down from the tree was hiding in and lightly nudged her with her foot. "I'll have to focus more on her than the others since they already have an established training regime that I can work with but with her I have to start from scratch."

"You're going to break her aren't you."

"Perceptive are we, nii-san?"

"No, I just know my otouto."

"Hmm"

With a golden flash they were gone.

 **Back with Sasuke and Sai**

A loud screech sounded throughout the training ground. The boys looked at eachother as if complimenting if they should going towards it or simply ignoring it.

Sai stared blankly at same direction as the scream.

"They got her."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Was there any doubt?"

"No."

The utter deadpan voice sealed their conversation as they trek towards the unholy offspring of a howler monkey and a pink abomination. At this rate, they'll never pass.

 **Kushina and Minato**

They watched as the two boys trekked toward their female comrade.

"At least they know the true meaning of the test."

"All three has to at least acknowledge that part."

"Sasu?"

"Sasuke."

With that conformation, they dispelled and went back to their son's mindspace.

 **One hour later**

The bell chimed signaling the end of the test. Sai unceremoniously dumped Sakura in front of the post where both jonin waited patiently for the genin to regroup. No one bothered to asked what took them so long appear of the state the third member was in.

With a deep breath, Naruto turned back to normal. He tied up the girl and waited for her to wake up.

 **Naruto PoV**

This was most disappointing display of Konoha Kunoichi I've ever seen in my life. But then again I set my mom and Tsunade as the standard so to me all kunoichi pathetically weak willed when compared to the women who are on par with and will not hesitate to punch a Hokage. Those two set a standard that no one has yet to meet much less surpass.

 _"Aw sochi I didn't know you felt that way!"_

 _Yes you did._

 _"Don't ruin the moment!"_

 _Geez sorry._

 _"Forget it, moment's gone."_

After tying her up to the post, I threw a bucket of water over her head.

"Ahh!"

Log dammit that hurts! Why is she so loud?!

I glared at her while the others just watched us. You what I'm gonna let Kakashi handle this.

"Oi! Sensei, what's your assessment?"

He hummed with a dull thinking look in his lone eyes.

"Looks like I'm not sending them back-"

"Really?!" Squealed the howler.

"- they should just quit now!"

"Nani!"

Jeez Pinkie, tone it down!

I ignored the rest of the conversation in favor of looking through the memories of my clones that me parents possessed. Most of it was boring but the plan they can up with to pass these three is somewhat plausible if Sai also joins in. Will it work? Plausible.

Seconds later, I followed Kakashi's lead and shinshin'ed away to watch them from afar. Sai and Sasuke began eating their lunch when Sakura's stomach growled. Sasuke grimaced at his food before turning to Sai, from here, I couldn't hear without using Chakra without alerting them that we're still watching. Sai looked uncertain before breaking down and agreeing with Sasuke. Unhappily, the feed the deadweight.

"They _passed!?_

 _"Surprised?"_

 _Yes/_ Yes!

I blinked. _You know what this means!_

 _"What?"_

I grinned and crackled evilly. Welcome to hell on earth little genins. Be afraid, be very very afraid...

 **3rd person**

The new team seven genin shivered as they heard their former classmate/ new jonin sensei laugh. A laugh that promised physical pain, mental torture, and sleepless nights. They should've quit when they had the chance.

* * *

 **All mistakes are my own I did not check this before posting. I will gladly read you input for this and votes for pairings. When I edit this chapter later I will put in the scores for the pairing but since I have not checked them in awhile I'll have to go back and count them. Until next time...**

 **Ja-ne Queen Niji~**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm sorry I'm late...**

* * *

 **Chapter 5 The training**

I grinned impishly at the new cadets who looked dead on their feet. Not that I blame them. It is five in morning. Today is their first day of training and I'm pulling the stops on them. Sasuke glared at me since I'm the one that literally dragged him out of bed and all the way here. Nonetheless both he and Sai stretched. Good.

I clapped my hands to get their attention.

"Now that we're all here we should get started!" I piped cheerfully. "First, we'll do a lap around the training field at a steady pace. Everytime you drop the pace, you'll do two more laps. The rest will continue with laps until those punished losses pace finish their laps. Understood? Good. Go!"

I did not allowed Sakura to interrupt me. I'm in charge here and if she thinks she can do whatever the roots she want then she's in for a rude awakening.

I smirked as I heard her shriek trying to catch up to boys who left with me. Both kept a slow (slow for me) and steady pace. A clone popped.

"Two laps, pinkie."

That pretty much how the rest of the morning went.

"Two more laps Pinkie!"

Speed up, than slow.

"You now have six laps left!"

By the time she _finally_ stayed at a steady pace and finished her extra laps, the boys were able to do 18 laps for her 10 laps. I would've given her more but we are on tight schedule.

I told them to sit down. I handed each of them a bento box.

"Okay, this is the drill." I started. " _Do not interrupt._ From Monday to Friday will be here, training ground 7, at 0500 on the dot. Do not come late. We'll stretchand run laps nonstop til 0800. Eat breakfast, after that we train with your weakest subjects, a taijutsu only spar, then if we still have or Kakashi still doesn't show, we'll work on advancing your jutsu arsenal. After lunch we will do D-rank missions. Depending how many we complete, and if you want come with, we'll have dinner at some of the better place"

I mentioned that part as an after thought. I hate this but I can't do any of the training methodsI wanted. I was out vetoed four to one. They heavily 'adjusted' my plan but as soon as they're low chunin level I'm pulling out all the stops. They can no longer tell me that these three aren't ready by then.

"On Saturday, we'll be having a team bonding out. Joining in on a teammate hobby, going to the movies, hanging out at the park. Stuff like. Sunday is Free Training. Any questions?"

Sai raise his as Sakura exclaimed she had some. I ignored her.

"Sai"

"What is Free Training?"

I smiled at him.

"Free Training is when we go out and act like civilians or tourist (depending which you choice) you walk around, interact with locals or other tourist. You also can't use any Chakra so if you wish to disguise yourself then you'll have to use the old ways. Hair dye, wigs, eyes contacts, civilian clothes, the works. Anymore questions?"

"What does that have to do with-"

"No? Good! Let's start with Still Target practice."

I unsealed target dummies.

 **(In a SpongeBob narrator voice) 5 hours later**

I grinned as I watched my team devour their snack before we head out to do missions, overall I think we did a nice first day. I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

"Mission time!"

Three groans sounded behind me.

* * *

 **Short chapter I know but I needed to get this out of the way.**


End file.
